What's on @ Inner

Friday 10 March - Living as Global Spiritual Citizens
Only by healing the self can we heal our environment and the world.
Speaker: Grace Lopez-Charles, mathematician and meditation teacher, Cambridge.

Only by healing the self can we heal our environment and the world. There are some roles in life for which we have no preparation. There's no manual to guide you as you play the role. Being a citizen is one such role. From the moment you take birth, you are deemed a citizen of the society and culture into which you are born. So what does it mean to be a citizen? How much difference, if any, is there between a citizen and a global citizen?

In this session the emphasis is on the added dimension of being a global spiritual citizen. For this we need a very important skill - that of being an observer. Being an observer enables me to take a new mental position. This is a silent skill which we need to learn. The skill of being an observer enables me to determine what positive changes are needed in a situation or with a person. When I am an observer, I am able to keep my mind clear and free and so open to new perspectives, because I learn to listen and tune in to the reality of others. Being an observer I am able to be creative. productive and effective, because I have given space for a true and better understanding. If I don't learn the skills of observing, I react and absorb myself in the negativity of the person and situation. I become lost in the maize of what's wrong and so I can never make things right. The more I absorb myself in the negativity, the more I become heavy with negative emotion and remain helpless. 'Negativity overload' does not allow me to rise and perceive the reality of things. so I lose perspective. And when I lose perspective, I become stuck in the details, and miss the obvious and cannot imagine or think of other realities.

I begin to acquire the skills of an observer when I become aware in a detached manner. In our philosophy, it is said, 'see but don't see, hear but don't hear'. What this means is that basically, I must remain aware of all realities, including the negative, but I must not remain stuck in them. I become stuck because I react. I react by judging, criticising and labelling. And why do we do this? Mainly because we feel threatened by what we are not familiar with, by what we do not approve of, so we create categories, convenient boxes for everything and everyone. Such convenience is dangerous because what we are actually doing is sealing the fate of others. We say: 'They're like this so we must treat them in this way'. Our vision and attitude is judgemental or critical of others, so we keep them as they are, because there is no input of positivity to encourage or allow them to make positive change. We hinder them by focusing on their past, their weaknesses and their mistakes. When we remain aware in a detached manner, we think not of what is wrong, but how we can put things right by contributing positive feelings or attittude or words. This is known as having mercy. There are no complaints because an aware person offers remedies and does not indulge in complaining. True maturity is to be fully aware. In full awareness, many things work itself out as long as my mind remains clear and free.

Being aware in a detached manner, I know when to get involved and when to stand back. For any relationship to remain harmonious and successful we must know how far to become involved and when to stand back. In this way we give others the space to work and to respond according to their time and inclination. Too often we expect instant results and we become impatient and intolerant. We say 'I have tolerated so much but this one is not changing. I have shown so much patience'. We become attached to what we do and leave no space for things to happen naturally, in their own time.

Sometimes we show the wrong type of mercy or we want to control, thinking we know better, so we get too involved in people's lives. This interference and lack of freedom for the other, provokes antagonism, resentment and conflict. Sometimes we stand back in a negative way, so tolerance and empathy are reduced and we isolate ourselves from others. We justify our withdrawal by saying: 'Let them stand on their own two feet'. But really we can't be bothered any more. We have stood so far back and failed to develop the patience and understanding which allow the positive to germinate, to grow in its own time.

An important position is to become complementary. Harmony, well being and fulfilment of individual purpose is possible when our consciousness is inclusive rather than exclusive. In this consciousness we can recognise and appreciate the purpose and necessity of all things in life and give them the space in which to express their innate right to being. When we become exclusive, that is when the basis of our identity is on certain prerogatives and priviledge, then harmony is lost in both the individual and in society. In modern society, the idea of outdoing others has taken precedence over the innate principle of life, which is to complement. When we learn to complement rather than compete and outdo the other, there is peace and respect and especially self-respect. Everyone has a place within this beautiful tapestry of life. Being complementary means that each has equal value and when we recognise the value of each then we stop comparing, competing and feeling superior or inferior. A society needs all sorts to function - different talents, different positions. Being complementary is the basis of creating a peaceful and happy co-existence because the vision and attitude of equality respects and enhances the differences.

Let us make the firm aim to live as global spiritual citizens with the attitude that everyone belongs to me and I belong to everyone.

Developing the inner capacity to move through life with dignity.
Speaker: John Semeraro, shop retailer and meditation teacher, Peterborough

Through many of life experiences, there has been an undercurrent of confidence which has carried me along. My aim is to share from my own experiences. To begin I will emphasise four aspects as key to becoming confident.

1. Spinning – spin the discus of self-realisation.
2. Studying – gaining spiritual knowledge and putting that knowledge to use in a practical way.
3. Developing power – not power to control or overcome others but power to surrender.
4. Reflection – this is being able to reflect on a certain way of being.

Within these four aspects, I found a way of living with confidence. When I began to spin the discus of self-realisation, I began to question myself …

I develop a sense of introspection, of going within. I spent my life, before coming into this knowledge, living on the outside. One moment I’m a father, the next I’m a husband, businessman, friend, son etc. I have forgotten who I truly am. Through self realisation, I am able to remind myself that I am a soul.

Once I start considering myself to be a soul, suddenly things start falling into place. I see this body as a vehicle through which I travel the journey of life and as such I can leave the body and take another. The body is temporary, just like a temporary costume. As I focus on the temporary nature of the body, I begin to realise the eternity of the soul. I see the soul as a powerful energetic being. In comparison, the outer self is decaying, getting older, lacking in stability and temporary.

If I try to hold on to this body, I become stuck. There is sorrow from attachment. When I see the soul, I see perfection. Perfection is eternity. Eternity is the idea of forever, which means neither a beginning nor an end. I realise that this can’t be a straight line, it must be cyclical - just as night follows day, summer follows spring.

I must first understand that I’m a soul – that within this body there’s a being that is perfect and virtuous. We came into this physical world to experience matter in a physical way. We begin to play a part in the drama of life and to observe the part as a spectator. Once that was the perfect stage, but gradually our consciousness became corrupted with desires, possessions etc. we begin to crave possession of the part of another and so enter into a spiral of ignorance and therefore forget who we are.

By spinning the discus of self-realisation we are able to rediscover who we really are; to understand our purpose – to play a part. Am I my own creation? If I’m a soul then something/one more powerful than me must have created me.

That One is my true Father and I am His child. When I come to terms with this truth, I can deal with any hurdle, whatever I have to overcome. I am able to play my part in the right way. Knowledge (wisdom) comes into the consciousness. Within knowledge, thoughts are being created, images are being created and the intellect starts opening and becoming very clear. In this awareness, I sit in meditation and remember that I came into existence long ago as a perfect being.

Remembrance helps me to deal with this part I’m playing. For example in the theatre there are so many plots and sub-plots – there’s romance, a villain, a hero, some tragedy, some comical scenes. We sit and enjoy it all and we even become impressed by the scenes. But what if we suddenly become involved in the drama – like fall in love with the hero, rush to the stage to fight with the villain? Then we cease to be a spectator. Our consciousness becomes corrupted with desires, possessions, wanting to possess the part of another soul. And so we enter into a spiral of ignorance and forget who we really are. Through this ignorance we lose confidence in ourselves.

Studying enables you to understand the drama of life and the eternal law of karma. This understanding enables one to live life with great power – that is power to eliminate the vices. It helps you to develop self-control and so become more peaceful and less stressful. We are able to rid ourselves of anger – that is I choose not to get angry. When we have a choice in the matter, we have the power to overcome and so surrender to a peaceful and more harmonious way of life. This enables me to live my life with confidence.

Becoming powerful does not mean controlling others. Becoming powerful means choosing what is right for me in an accurate way. Through this power, we can begin our journey to perfection. It is at this point that a sense of reflection develops. We reflect on what it is like to be perfect – to be pure. Our habits change and we watch what we say and do. And through this discipline, we realise the need to become pure and perfect. The way we live, dress, interact reflects our power of self-control and the confidence we have in ourselves.

What is self-esteem? We speak of someone being held in 'high esteem', but what do we mean by this? Esteem is a favourable appraisal of a person who possesses qualities estimated as of significant value. This may result in that person being awarded a reward or prize of some sort - maybe a Pulitzer, an Oscar, a Nobel Prize etc. Are there such awards or prizes for self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves at any given moment. It is the foundation of our self-confidence and self-worth. Self-esteem is a natural part of our existence.

However, we've been taught from an early age to base and build our self-esteem on temporary foundations, such as position, possessions, on how much we earn and on how much regard we receive from others. In so doing, we learn to disguise our fragile self-esteem. We begin to move as though in a mime, a lifeless dance, dry and rhythm-less.

What is necessary is for us to learn to tap into our inner strength. The door to inner strength leads to real seflf-esteem and is a door with a combination lock needing four keys.

Being unique is one of the most important human characteristics. We are all unique human beings with unique histories, patterns of thinking and behaving. We have unique personalities so there is no duplication in humanity. However, we have acquired deep habits of comparison from early in our life. We are taught to compare ourselves with others, to imitate their style. Society has taught us, through the emphasis on appearance and fashion etc., to desire to look like and be like someone else. So we come to believe that if we can look like such and such a person, we'll be okay. This imitation always ends in painful failure and lowering of the sense of self. We can't be like, look like or act like any other person. We can only be ourselves.

The habit of comparison and imitation is the greatest destroyer of self-esteem. Firstly, it prevents us from being ourselves and secondly, it keeps us at a very superficial level of existence. So the first key to the door of self-esteem is to break the habit of comparison and end the desire to be like someone else.

Remind yourself that you are unique. It is through acknowledging our uniqueness that we gain the courage to acknowledge and accept our weaknesses, faults and imperfections. For it is only when we accept ourselves the way we are, that we're able to begin the process of true self-transformation.

We are all already beautiful and perfect, and we always have been. This is a paradox. Because this beauty is a hidden treasure lying deep within the self, we find difficulty in accessing it. Why? Because we have not been taught to go deep inside ourselves to see it, feel it and express it. This inner beauty is our innate qualities of spirit - it is the melody, the harmony that is missing that dry, lifeless dance of life. When we are able to experience our inner peace, when we are able to touch base with our truth, we begin to awaken love, joy, wisdom and our pure nature. However, we are so preoccupied with outer beauty to even begin to focus on inner beauty. We fall for the messages of the marketing gurus directing us to believe that beauty can be bought, surgically added or painted on.

The re-building of self-esteem, that is true self-esteem, is a deep inner process of self knowledge and self awareness. We need to spend time each day to sit in stillness, in silence, and see and experience our inner qualities.

As the door to self-esteem begins to open, tests of your courage to fully open the door will also come. It is through these tests that stability in your self grows. When others criticise you or speak about you behind your back, if you become affected or your react in any way, it means that your self-esteem is very fragile. This stems from the temporary foundation on which our self-esteem is based and built. We base our self-esteem on the opinions of others. But what we forget is that each one would have a different opinion of us and we can never really know what others are thinking, because we're not in their minds. Even if we do know what others are thinking, aren't they entitled to their own opinion? Why should we allow their opinion to shake our self-esteem and so lose our inner stability? Don't worry about what anyone thinks of you. You know who you are. You know your true self - your natural nature. You don't depend on the opinion of others. Their opinion is just that - opinion - nothing more.

Self-esteem and self-respect are intimately linked. One is not possible without the other. When and where are we taught the skill of respecting ourselves? We're taught how to show respect to others, but rarely. if ever, are we taught how to respect ouselves. This is why our relationships lack harmony - why we are dancing mindlessly without rhythm and vigor. This is why we are filled with both inner and outer conflict . Lack of self-respect has brought about disharmony and negativity. If we can maintain self-respect, we would be able to remain stable and positive. There would then be no 'tit for tat', no misunderstanding and disharmony.

The only way to build and also strengthen self-respect is to practice giving respect to others, regardless of what they are like or what they are doing. In this process of giving respect to others, what we are also doing is giving respect to the self. When we give respect to others, we are creating respect within ourselves for the self. This happens in this way because when we think of the person, we also create an image of them in our mind. And because for that moment they exist in our mind, we are giving respect to them, and have to create if first in our mind. In so doing we are experiencing respect in a real way and incidentally, respect for the self is also experienced.

By using these four keys in the right way, we are creating a solid platform of self-esteem. It is on this solid platform that self-worth and self-confidence stand trumphantly. Self-worth and self-confidence are both awards, or prizes for gaining self-esteem

Peace and harmony! Do you think this is important? Is this something you think you would want to learn more about? Gandhi said 'Be the change you wish to see in the world'.

At the moment, peace means the cessation of violence through war. Is this a good definition for peace? this type of peace leas to more strife - more war. In my mind, war doesn't lead to peace. There is so much suffering through war for it to bring about peace.

Peace is something that I can find within myself. When I can create peace within myself or find that space within where there is peace, then I can begin to live in harmony with myself.

'Take yourself back to a time when you were really peaceful. Get in touch with that feeling of peace once again. Relive that peace. Where is the peace coming from? Is it coming from inside or outside? What are you saying to yourself in this peaceful time? What are you seeing around you or within you? What are you feeling? Allow yourself to sink in that peaceful space and just be in silence. Enjoy it. When you are ready, bring your mind back to now'

Where does that peace come from? From where do you find that peace? If you find your peace in nature, what does nature do for you? Does nature create the peace for you? No, nature is just the context in which you create peace. Because of the beauty of the setting, you are able to get in touch with your most vibrant self - the harmony.

Does peace fome from within your or outside you? If peace comes from within, then I can access it easily. If peace comes from outside, then I have no control over my feelings. I cam completely beholden to what life thows at me. There will be tension, a striving to acheive peace. Then I have 'to do peace'. So I seek a special place to sit, a candle. scented oils or incense. When I do peace, I have limited time to experience peace. When my peace comes from within, then I can access it at any time.

What part of you is peaceful? Where did you access peace inside yourself? Where did you feel it? When I access peace, I feel like a river of peace is flowing from head to heart. If I am able to access a higher souce of peace, I can create a constant flow of peace. What would my relationships be like if can access that peace all the time? I am responsible for my own peace. I can create it myself. It is within me and it is within my power to create it. If I can create it myself, then I can lose it when I choose. We say 'you make me angry' . . . 'if only the government would do such and such' . . . 'if I can only live in the city/country' . . . If I create my peace, then there is noone making me do anything nor is there anyone to blame.

It is a lovely concept to say 'I ama river of peace, an ocean of peace.
But, why is it so difficult to maintain peace? If I am to access my inner psace them I would need a few methods to help me to access it.

Think of a time when you were angry. What happened to you when you were angry? Be the onlooker of the situation (don't go into the feelings) and notice how the situation started. What was the trigger that got you angry? Did your heart race? What caused you to react? What made you hold back the insulting words? Notice the body language - were you tense, were you standing or sitting? What were you saying to yourself about the situation?

You might have recognised that some thoughts and feelings were regular patterns. How quickly does anger happen? It happens in a second, like a lit match. When you get really angry, it can take days to reccover - you can feel depleted of energy, almost like a 'wet rag'. This is damaging for your itnernal organs. Also, you can't think clearly. It is like a fog which is pulsating. Oxygen does not flow naturally to the brain so thinking is not at its best.It would be nice not to have this fog and to remain calm enough so that you are able to say the right thing.

Once, a man planted a very lovely green lawn. He fed, watered and gave it nutrients and so the lawn grew greener and greener. Then spring came and so did the daises. The man was furious to see his nice green lawn dotted with white daises. So he mowed the lawn real short to get rid of the daises. A month later the dandelions came up. He again mowed the dandelions away. But throughout the season there were alternation of daises and dandelions. The man soon become fed up and in a fit of anger, he concreted the whole area. Now there were no more daises or dandelions, but there was also no nice green lawn.

Draw a flower and write in its middle a trigger statement that you always use (e.g. This always happen to me.) Ask yourself a question: why does this happen? And wait for the answer. Don’t rush yourself. Write the answer as it comes to you, as the root of the flower. Repeat the question, each time waiting for the answer to come and write it in the root, extending the root systematically. When you ask the question and you keep getting the same answer, this means that there are no further reasons. You can go no deeper.

What do you want to do about your root? Is it a limiting belief you have of yourself? Where do we get this belief from? Some belief started in childhood. We absorb so many negative things about our selves and we believe them to be true. Yet when I go within myself I can tap into peace, love, harmony, caring, enthusiasm etc. So surely, I’m not that bad a person as I think I am.

What are the things that limit us? By the time we get to 18, we acquire habits that we find so ingrained that we can’t change. Because we think that these are within us and so find difficulty in stopping them. We create our own reality. There is a part of the brain that will filter out what I don’t wish to see and what I wish to see because of my belief system. If we can place ourselves on the outside and observe what is happening, we would see that what we are not doing is separating behaviour from who we are. I am not my behaviour.

What creates my belief? Gender, religion, society, what I learn from others, media, all contribute to my belief. We absorb so much information through our eyes, far more than the brain can handle. So I have to filter them out through my belief system. We absorb what others tell us and build up our belief system of who we are. What has influenced you most? Family, outsiders, school systems, nationality, heroes – such as pop stars, film stars etc.

Friday 21 April - Deepening Soul Consciousness
Speaker: Jasmine Carter Meditation Teacher, Worthing
Retreat Centre

There are three levels of consciousness: - body consciousness; soul consciousness and action consciousness. Body and action consciousness are more dominant in our daily lives. The body is so big and the soul is infinitesimally small. We use expressions about the soul daily. For example we say someone is very spirited; we say someone is the life and soul of the party; we even say poor soul. Can you see a theme emerging from these phrases? The soul is energy, vitality – very much alive. I, the soul, give life to this body.

What I learnt through soul consciousness is that I am actually distinct from the body. The world is very much dependant on information and technology – information that stays on an intellectual level. For the soul it is different. It is a matter of having very few thoughts and making those thoughts very profound.

When I get into soul consciousness, I ask myself “Who am I?” The naturalness of the soul is covered by many layers. By asking “Who am I?” I am able to go deeper through the layers acquired through body consciousness. I have to get to the truth that lies within me. The truth is that we are all innately good. This might be hard to believe, especially when we are hard on ourselves and on others. For this reason, it is best to have fewer thoughts so you can go deeper and deeper into who you really are. You would find, with practice, that you are positive, peaceful, content, loving, wise and pure. Sometimes it can be so difficult to believe this.

In the Guiness book of records, there is a record of someone who managed to stay continually angry for the longest time. This person managed to remain in a constant state of anger for 48 hours. This just shows that anger is not a true quality.

We have four different types of thoughts. The one we encourage and is natural to soul consciousness is positive thought. By positivity, it is not meant to take the stance that black is white or to look at events through tinted glasses. What it means is that I am living in solutions – solutions such as (1) there is a solution for everything and (2) I know I can do it. With positivity everything becomes as easy as turning a light switch. By simply saying I can is creativity. Creativity comes out when I am able to remain still. Stillness is such a resource and I need to know how to use it.

I draw the analogy of the sea as I often view the scenes of the sea front from my window. There is so much going on the surface of the water – water skis splashing, swimmers, lots of people on the sand – some happy others relaxing etc. At the end of the day, they all go home. We too are very busy on the surface. Busy with desires, different moods, changing of opinions and ideas, on the whole very fast moving.

When you go deep down into the sea, there is stillness and the deeper you go the stiller it becomes. As you get to the bottom, you find the treasures that have remained buried there. It is the same with soul consciousness. When I go deep within, I discover my inner qualities and begin to live out of these true qualities. I meditate to reconnect myself with myself. As I go deep within myself, I normally take peace ass my first treasure. I look at it (peace), I polish it and bit by bit, I bring it higher and higher in my consciousness. The more I practise this, the more I am able to use this treasure in my life.

How I am inside is connected to how I am with the world. If I disconnect from myself, I disconnect from the world. If I cannot have a relationship with myself, then I cannot have a relationship with anyone else. My first act of love for myself is to accept who I am. Consistency is the key. I remind myself, through daily meditation, of who I am. To meditate doesn’t mean just sitting in a quiet corner for three hours. It is far more practical than that. Just a few minutes here and there – like a minute to refocus the thoughts in the mind – is necessary. In this way everything you do throughout the day gives enjoyment.

The second type of thoughts is necessary thoughts. These are routines, like cleaning your teeth, getting out of bed etc. Because I am positive, I become more organise and so makes it easier to be efficient.

The third type is wasteful thoughts – that is thoughts such as “If only…”, “I shouldn’t have…”, “If s/he didn’t…” All the things of the past are in the past. It didn’t happen like that, but I’m wishing it had. These are blocks to meditation. Wasteful thoughts are sapping my energy. To overcome these blocks, I need to understand my thoughts and choose my thoughts carefully.

The fourth is negative thoughts. These can be as simple as thoughts of self such as “I can’t”, “s/he is better than I am”, also blaming, worrying and making comparison. Blame is very disempowering. We create the worry that we feel – we bring it on ourselves. When I am negative I want. There is always an emptiness that is causing my negativity. If I have plenty of something I am very willing to share. If I only have one, it is more difficult to share. What I need to realise is that everything I need is contained within me and all of these are 100%. Then I allow things to be the way they are very naturally without wanting them to conform to my expectations. Things don’t have to be the way I think it should be. We can be very blinkered – only seeing life through the experiences and memories we have. Insecurity makes us want to see things in a certain way – the way we want them to be.

I have become so attached to material things through my complete focus on the body and bodily relations. Neither materialism, nor body consciousness brings me permanent happiness. I might feel happy because I went out and bought a new pair of jeans but later on I’m not so happy any more because the newness and excitement of having a new pair of jeans have worn out. I fluctuate in feelings. I have to do more and more to gain higher feelings and so when I come down, I go further down into low level feelings. This high and low fluctuation empties me of my state of constant fullness and rocks my personal sense of security. You’ll be relieved to know that you are much more than what you own. There is nothing wrong in having possessions and nice things. It is our relationship with the possessions and nice things that create the problems. I need only to accept and enjoy the things that I have, but not base my happiness in them.

In soul consciousness, I’m able to fill up with my inner treasures and the more I am filled, the more I am able to give. When I decide to give good wishes to someone, I begin to create those pure feelings inside me. By giving good wishes to that person I am reprogramming myself. I have to remember I am here to give good feelings and so this comes back to me through the law of action (karma). To have good wishes and pure feelings for others is a very dynamic way of improving yourself. When we are positive, we are economical with our thoughts, but when we are negative, we get into expansion.

Friday 28^th April 2006
Speaker: Maureen McCaldin. Meditation Teacher, Cambridge

What are the kinds of feelings that you’ll like to experience in any one day? Humour, ecstasy, calmness, love etc. … What is the experience that follow from, let’s say, humour? It leads to happiness; it makes you feel lighter. The end result of all our quests is happiness. This is our own innate quality and so no one can snatch it away.

What experiences do we avoid? Anger, conflict, worry, anxiety, boredom, hunger etc. … These may become part of our daily experiences but they are not what we set out to experience. That is we do not get up in the morning and say to ourselves “today I want to experience anger (worry, anxiety etc.)”. Just as when we experience humour we feel light, the opposite happens with anger. When we experience anger, we become heavy.

All this is because of influences. Take the tiny baby, for instance; what influences him? Parents, siblings and home environment are the main influences. Although he’s quite small and new, he can still experience the atmosphere. As he grows up there are wider influences, such as other children and other adults. Then there is the influence of the school culture. And as he grows even older the horizon of influence expands to include advertisements – the media (i.e. music, TV, tabloid); entertainment – computer games, internet; and peer group.

These influences externalise the focus of the individual and become very important diversions from what we are naturally. One other quality we possess is wisdom – wisdom to know what is true or not true for the self. We tend to find other people’s opinions to be more important than the self. We seek external symbols to identify us. The car we drive symbolises how successful we are. We experience a drop in mood level, when the car is damaged, because the source of my happiness has been ruined.

Putting the opinions of others over our own sense of self tends to override our own belief system. For example a three old who likes to dance will throw herself into the dance with consciousness of how well she is doing it. If she is well balanced and really has a gift for dancing, she’ll get praises and even be asked to demonstrate to others. In time the praise begins to create the self image “I’m a good dancer. My teacher tells me so.” She now begins to compare herself with others and when praise is not forthcoming, she becomes self conscious. Praise should be given in such a way that it encourages one to into self evaluation.

If I may, I would like to draw my examples from sporting instances. Sport is like a miniature replica of life. It’s all there in the sporting arena. All the players are there and everyone is trying to achieve his personal best. Personal best is a good thing to hang on to as we are not letting others opinions grab us. It would e very much happier if we relied on our inner wisdom. One can’t do more than their best. Then where you are placed doesn’t matter. There’ll always be those better or worse than you. Some become overachievers and raise their own expectations of what they can do and others expectations of them as well. In so doing they create stress in themselves and so become ill. Stress is the precursor to illness. If we can find our comfortable middle, then we can do our best.

Sportsmanship is something we can use in everyday life. All sportsmen follow these principles:

If both sides are equal and play the game with sportsmanship, then the end is success for each side. When ego prompts to take revenge, then sportsmanship is lost. Although the team manager may use the word ‘work’, nevertheless, we still play football, play tennis play golf. Playing is the key to the game just like in life. If you can do your best, that’s enough.

Besides sportsmanship, what other principles are there to help us to live lightly? Acceptance is one such principle. Acceptance means to realise that we are both the source and creator of our own actions and experiences. There are three great acceptances:

In a spiritual context, our focus must move towards the motivation behind our actions. It is only then that we become more giving rather than taking. In physical consciousness, we are in constant need to take from others, environment etc. We can change this around by developing our own sense of self. Being in a giving mode will create happiness. If we put a spiritual context around our lives, then we can become very happy. We need to make effort in order to gain something and so the gain becomes satisfactory, bringing happiness and true pleasure.

Thought is one of our primary functions. Descartes’ single principle is “I think, therefore I am”. Behind this is the certainty that I exist. In life there are thoughts, but what is the medium in which thoughts come? We constantly move from one thought to another. Sometimes I try to trace my thoughts to its origin and for such a short time I notice there are so many thoughts. These thoughts are completely random. 80/90% of them are cyclical thoughts.

We have a wonderful thing call “mind”. Mind is more than thoughts. You create a thought and
that thought is experienced. In life it is thoughts that create lots of our reality. To quote a true
story of two patients – one suffering from gall stones and the other not. During a routine check
up their extrays were mixed up and the results went to the wrong patient. The one with the
gall stones problem was told that he was free from that problem. The other was told that he
was suffering from gall stones. Two months later the one who actually had gall stones, in a
subsequent check the gall stones had disappeared. But the other who was really free from gall
stones had developed one. This is as a result of what is known as placebo.

The placebo effect is the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health not attributable
to treatment. This effect is believed by many people to be due to the placebo itself in some
mysterious way. 30% of people have some big results from placebos. Some believe the placebo
effect is psychological, due to a belief in the treatment or to a subjective feeling of improvement.
It may be that much of the placebo effect is more a matter of mind over behaviour.
The placebo effect may be a measurement of changed behaviour affected by a belief.
The changed behaviour includes a change in attitude, in what we say about how we feel,
and how we act. The emphasis is that it is more than thoughts.

A person can create in himself the feeling that I deserve this illness or I deserve this situation.
Some therapists then tells him that he doesn’t have an illness. He hears it but it is unable to
transcend into his deeper belief. There are so many societal influences telling us that by a
certain age we would experience some specific illness. And so we become conditioned by this
thinking. In some cultures it is believed that as you get older you become fitter. This belief
works for those in that society. At a practical level, in India, older people are seen as wiser.
As a result there a fewer cases, among the elderly, of dementia or Altzeimer's disease.

We are in a society and so we have to fit in with the conditions of that society. As a society,
we have a “herd mentality”. There is benefit in the herd such as security. When we are on our
own we tend to develop confidence about ourselves. Being in the herd, we follow the trends for
clothes, job, profession etc. We all check for agreement. In every herd there is a leader. In fact,
you have a choice – you can choose to either follow the herd or be the leader. If you realize that
the herd is going in the wrong direction, take the opportunity not to convince them they’re
going in the wrong direction, but start moving in the direction you think is right. The herd
creates the pattern. We need leaders to change directions. There will be opposition at first, but
later praise will be given. Your leadership should not be just for the sake of being a leader, but
purely to change the herd.

The biggest problem in achieving this is attachment and so the answer is to become free from
attachment. You have to grow out of it internally. Something of this kind has to happen within
us and when it happens, it is a great boost to the human race. Attachment starts in many
simple ways. In relationships, we become dependant on others. We become addicted to many
things, even the internet. To change, we need to come out of it entirely – to step out and
experience freedom.

The simple method to achieve this is to take a jump. The entire spiritual knowledge tells us that
there is a reality of God. What is great about God is that He is eternal. It is not a spiritual luxury
to have meditation, it is the need of a society to come back to this God. This is not on a
superficial level, but it is on a higher plain. The higher you are on that plain, the more you
become a guest in this physical world. Because people tend to approach the world with
emptiness and lots of problems are caused as a result. They try to fill themselves with external
things, but these do not give them happiness. If you experience spiritual fullness, happiness
cannot be removed or withdrawn by anyone. Relying on your job, for example, for happiness
create so much sorrow when the job is lost. When you are a guest, there is no worry of losing
anything.

In the Gita, it is mentioned that such yogis win heaven and win earth. What this means is that
you get to a great height, having angelic experiences, while on earth you do not have any
worry of anything, including your own body. This sets the tone for a long and healthy life.
It’s a bit like - if you eat too much sugar, after a while you could develop diabetes. There are more
useful things one can do rather than worry. By running after your shadow, it runs away from
you. But when you follow your own direction, the shadow follows you. Nothing is intense, you
are entirely free and so there is harmony.

When one gets into great intensity, they do not know what to do about it and so become
trapped. The only way out of this is to turn to God. Not just God, but the world of God.
We have to wake up to that plain; make our thoughts stay in that reality. If someone can think
of God in that way, he’s fortunate. If he makes further effort to know God and experience God,
that would help him to realize the most positive thoughts. This means that the most positive
thing anyone can do is to think of God. On a practical level; let us experiment – touch your hand
and imagine God is using this hand. Just hold that thought for 10 seconds. In this 10 seconds,
you have brought in a different energy and this energy has an effect on the body.

The more we get into indulgence, then that energy is of disturbance. If you are staying in the
thoughts of God and looking at someone as though God and you are looking (that is God is
using your eyes), not only would you benefit, but the other would as well. You are on safe
ground if you allow God to use your organs. When eating, you say God is feeding me. If you
play with this a few times you’ll see a difference. Things will get better and all you did was
create a positive thought. And as the thought becomes deeper it becomes greater. Then it won’t
be just a thought of God, but you begin to experience who God is.

Friday 12 May - Overcoming Fear
Speaker Margaret Barron

Coming into spirituality has been a great step forward in the journey of overcoming fear. I had incredible fear of public speaking and although the fear is not totally gone, I’m a lot closer to being fearless. Overcoming fear is an interesting process and how spirituality works on the process is also interesting. Spirituality gave me a chance to break through the fear barrier. I remembered the first time I had to give a talk, half of me wanted to do it and the other half was so nervous. At that time I remembered God – not so much remembered but more like spoke to God. And what resulted was like magic. What I said didn’t matter, what mattered was breaking through that fear.

There is the saying that most people would rather be in the casket than do the eulogy. Public
speaking created such fears in me and once I managed to overcome it, I set myself new
target – maybe sing on stage. Stage fright is such that you don’t really feel frightened, you just
can’t remember anything. There’s some fear in all of us. We all have different fears, different
things that we have to deal with. What I learned from the Brahma Kumaris is the way spiritual
awareness takes us to the boundary to overcome all types of fears.

Being able to direct your mind the way you want it to go, enables you to only think the
thoughts you want to think; only feel the things you want to feel. You have to live your life with
freedom so that nothing is pulling you down. If you imagine a line drawn above the physical
world where everything below that line is physical and temporary, above that line is complete
freedom and eternity. The journey of overcoming fear is learning all the different ways to live
above the line.

When we are above the line, we see ourselves not as a body but as a spiritual being within the
costume of a body. We all wear different costumes, but behind each costume is a spiritual being
– represented as a star, a point of light. When I am in this awareness, I have access to the core
of my being. At the core I’m amazing. In our true essence, the qualities are really beautiful.
There are Peace, Love and Happiness. The only true way to experience this is to go inside and
nurture that which is already there. We are kept so busy below the line and what is below the
line? Below the line are people, possessions and positions.

In the journey of overcoming fear, be aware of people – being fearful of anger towards people
and people being angry with me. This can be not in an overt way but in a rather subtle way.
Life is asking us to live above the line. Every situation that we’re in is a chance for spiritual
progress. Everything that happens in my life is for my spiritual progress. There are times when
I feel uncomfortable shifting out of my comfort zone and that is when I react.

Donald Schon’s innovative thinking around notions such as ‘comfort zone’, ‘double-loop learning’ and ‘reflection-in-action’ is of value. He presented different mindsets,

When I start to challenge and question my governing variables I step into double-loop learning. People would come into your life who challenges you to make you uncomfortable –
trigger your buttons.

In terms of possessions, it’s not wrong to have possessions but what is wrong is having an
attachment to them. When I’m attached to the things I have, I develop fear of losing them.
We live in a world where there isn’t complete trust. The more attached we are the more we feel a sense of loss and so we live in a sense of fear. When I’m above the line in the awareness of a spiritual being, I already have everything, so the things below the line are just extras. Let me use those things for my benefit and for the benefit of others. Whatever we need would come to us, when we become full in the experience of living above the line and only acting a role below the line.

In terms of position, whatever is my consciousness there is a whole way of life that goes with
that. Spirituality is saying to us, play your role as the best but don’t get trapped in it. When
I’m behind the role I can play the role to my best because I know I’m not that role.

How do I know the qualities of peace, love and happiness are there? In meditation you can
begin to experience these inner qualities. The qualities are always there. Within our psyche,
there’s a part of us that are really silent. We are so caught up in what is happening around us
that we don’t experience that silence. In meditation we are taken into that space of inner silence.

There are two ways to live life – with love or with fear. In spirituality, if I want to experience a
certain thing then I have to create the thoughts to allow it to happen. As amazing a challenge
this is, the more I nurture it the more it will become my way of being. Within every challenge
is the gift for spiritual progress. There’s benefit in everything. We have to face many things in
life, but when we think of the spiritual progress the benefit is always there. We might not see
it at the time, but it is there all the same.

In life we can become quite stuck – become heavy. In order to help pull us out, we need
special help – a lift. Imagine if I’m wanting to become peaceful, happy, loving, if I want
100% peace I need to attach my psyche – internal process – to something that is stable in
peace. This stable being is not of the physical dimension and so is constantly stable.
This being is the divine being – God. Just I see myself as a spiritual being I can connect with
the divine. As I make that connection it mirrors back my own inner qualities. So when we live
above the line fear doesn’t exist. When I’m connected to the divine and feel these qualities in
me, there would be no fear. Situations will come but they would not leave an impact on my
psyche. This is where I want to be – to live in love – to be above the line.

Most of our education today focuses on a narrow segment of the brain, located in the left portion. Left-brain dominant people are most successful in our current educational system, which limits creativity, and relies mostly upon words and numbers. To be able to achieve anything is a big thing. I have been so caught up in the left-brain system that is only when I came into spiritual understanding did I realise how much my sense of self was grounded in being clever. There is the understanding that “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are”.

The subtle awareness of who I am is the thing that influences the eyes through which I see the world. This happens unconsciously, through education, through people who influenced us and/or through the stuff we learn as we grow throughout the ages. By the time we get to 18, we’ve accumulated a sense of what the world is like and how we perceive the world will be. This is reinforced over the years and so we begin to experience a sense of stress.

After the birth of my son, I suffered a stress crisis, which led me from the psychiatrist couch to this yoga philosophy and meditation. In dealing with the issues of stress, one most realise that most of us have multiple demands and multiple roles to play. But deep inside, behind the roles, there is only the one ‘me’. Feelings of stress and being pulled apart by stress come from me forgetting who I really am. Playing the roles of consultant and dad, I had a painful decision to make. It was coming up to my son’s first birthday and Alison, my wife, and I had planned a birthday celebration for him. However, some clients had decided on the date for a forthcoming meeting on the exact date of my son’s birthday. The dilemma is what decision will be the right one to make. So I’m throwing it out to you. Could you think of a creative solution to solve this problem?

It is easy to come up with a great many ideas for the solution. When you’re actually in the
stress position you can’t, especially when you’re analysing and using logic as the basis of
argument. So, how did I solve the problem? I asked Alison and her immediate response was
“go to the meeting. Alexander is too young to notice you won’t be there anyway”. The simplicity and practicality of her response brought up in me inner murmuring – ‘how could she make this decision so easily and I, the one with the high IQ couldn’t’. The thing is, if I’m in the stressed out situation it is impossible to make any informed or real decisions.

One has to realise that the roles are really putting on and taking off masks. I can put on and
take off the masks of the various roles I play. Self mastery is about getting back to the true self
It means getting away from our clever ability to analyse and so a lot more decisions are made
not entirely intuitively but in a less stressful way. We are even able to rationalise why a certain
decision was made and give the self the opportunity to change unreasonable decisions.

You cannot be confident in making decisions when you do not have all the data. You have to
become attuned to what you’re hearing inside. Lord Falkland’s rule states that “when it is not
necessary to make a decision, it is not necessary to make a decision”. We spend so much time
deciding about stuff that does not necessarily need deciding. We also spend too much time
thinking about what will happen and how will it happen. When I tune in to my inner voice,
what emerge are faith, trust and hope – three things that are not normally attributed to a
left-brain thinker. We tend not to value these a lot because we are so caught up in our left-brain stuff of over analysing. We try to deal with everything in our life with a hammer, because everything looks like a nail. Our pride in the rational analytical thinking faculties do not allow us to have faith, trust and hope.

While interacting with others in the roles they play we are using our resources in the awareness that behind all these stuff (relationship, roles, responsibilities and resources) is a resilient being able to learn and grow. When the rough and difficult part is over, there is the learning of something very valuable. We are able to see that nothing is wholly bad.

Relationships and roles are responsibilities of the soul. The challenge in everyday life is how to
be more soul conscious than role conscious. If I am a doctor, in the consciousness of this role I
see everyone as a patient. The pig analogy is a good one to use in this case. The vet sees the pigs as patients, the farmer who has bred them sees just his daily bread, the butcher sees flesh - all the meat products the pig provides him, while the Leather craftsmen see skins to shape into bags and boots and shoes. If I’m in the consciousness of the role then I see the world from that perspective. So when someone criticises the role, I take it personally. I have to cultivate the ability to see the world from the perspective of soul consciousness.

Mastery in the game of life involves going into situations where normally we’ll be pulled into
role consciousness and still stay in soul consciousness. The more I’m able to stay in a place
where I’m soul conscious, the more I’m able to give others the chance to feel comfortable in
themselves. They know you’re not pointing out the stuff what is going on in them. They
experience that although they are not performing at their best, you are still showing them love.

How do you deal with difficult people who continually try to influence your stage of soul consciousness?

On this topic, I once spoke to a senior teacher in Oxford, who said to me “see it as a game”.
You score points when you can remain soul consciousness and you lose points when you are
pulled into role consciousness. That means the other person scores a point. When you realise
that you are playing this game to stay in soul consciousness, your vision changes and you begin
to see what is good about this person. If I can deal with all the junk of life, then I can be
masterful. Mastery is not just dealing with self but is also dealing with others. The practical
teaching is to go into the awareness that it’s a game of staying in soul consciousness and
remembering that I’m only playing a role and so are the others around me.

Friday 26 May - Forgiveness and Letting Go
Speaker: Shashi Mehra, Meditation Teacher, London

Which is easy – to forgive others or to forgive the self? In life many things happen, but sometimes we hold on to these things so deeply, that it becomes difficult to let them go. The beauty of the philosophy of Raja Yoga lies in the fact that it makes one become so easy – one is able to move forward in life. If we are unable to move forward and are continually holding on to the past, then it is too difficult to forget and to forgive.

When people pray what do they ask for? They ask for forgiveness. In Jerusalem, there is the Wailing Wall where people go to pray. God is really the Ocean of forgiveness. We feel that once we did something towards atonement for a wrong, then we feel the lightness – the mercy of God. God, the Father has a merciful and generous heart and is so able to forgive and forget.

If I hold onto something and I burden myself with that – who is suffering? Does anyone want to suffer? We want to forget, I want to forgive, I want to have good relationships. But if I want these things, why am I holding on to things in my mind so rigidly? What we need to break this habit is a little power to control ourselves. We need guidance. Without guidance, we struggle.

We may want to practise something but we tell ourselves ‘I can’t do it’. I have to put my concentration on wanting to do it. In the same way I must concentrate on wanting to learn self forgiveness. The first thing I must do is observe my feelings when someone doesn’t forgive me. Then I must say from the heart ‘I want to forgive myself’.

There is benefit in forgiving and forgetting. If I can not forgive and forget, I create such suffering that brings about animosity. Animosity comes when I cannot forget and so I hold on to my arrogance. When someone is in this stage of suffering, words do not work. What works is good wishes, having pure thoughts for and about that one and good feelings. Although someone may refuse to forget, I must carry on giving very subtle spiritual love. In my heart I must have such good feelings for that person. This is the quality of humility.

It is when we come across negativity that goodwill – our inner goodness- dies within ourselves. We all want to be good people and we want to make the world the best where we can share goodness and not hold on to animosity. So check yourself. Sit in silence and ask your heart ‘I’m I holding on to any grudges inside?’

Certain things happen in the drama of life. But whatever happens is for the best. Yet we find it so difficult to forget it – to get it out of our system of thoughts. It is easy to say ‘forget it’ but difficult to put this into practice. If I can forgive myself and give good wishes then the feelings in my heart is not to hurt anyone. Sometimes we act very carelessly, not realising that I’m hurting someone. By sitting in silence I’m gaining power to do the right thing at the right time. In that way I’m making less mistakes. This is no ordinary silence. In this silence I am linking my mind and intellect to God. It is God who’s guiding me to be accurate.

We have to be very sweet. Sometimes we become bitter and angry. We say words in bitterness which really hurt others. When I’m very sweet, I’m very loving and natural. We have to make ourselves good. We are all good most of the time. We all say ‘it’s not my fault but someone else did or say something and I reacted. But is it right to behave that way? We’re all are different. We must accept others as they are. Our way of thinking, behaving, personality is different. It is natural for someone to raise their voice if someone shouts at them. We have so much anger. Just as when two stones are rubbed together they create sparks, its the same with two angry people.

Peace is my true religion. Internally I have very pure qualities. In meditation I am able to emerge those qualities and bring them to the surface. The fragrance of my goodness then spreads around. I begin to rectify the things which later on become a big thing. I am able to let go of the things of the past rather than hold on to it. When something happens, ask yourself, ‘is it worth holding on to it?’ Through this sort of questioning feelings are neutralised. Your own positive feelings enable you to forget whatever it was that needed forgetting. You can’t change it, so the best thing to do is to finish it very lightly, straight away from the mind. It takes a second to switch on the wipers in the car. If something comes onto the screen of my mind and I hold onto it, I can’t concentrate. Instead in a second wipe it clear from your mind.

Three systems occur when we encounter waste – take for instance the banana – immediately you peel the banana you look for a bin to put the peel. You don’t think how lovely the skin is, let me keep it. The other thing is that our body rejects waste naturally. And thirdly things that happened in the past need to be throw out to create space for what is happening now. If you hold onto waste, every time you open the mind to put fresh things in, it stinks. You have the wisdom to clean up the mind. If you don’t clean it you cannot enjoy your present and so what would your future be. You would not serve freshly cooked, tasty food on a dirty plate with traces of last night stale dinner still clinging to it. You have to scrub it straight away because if it is left it would take hard work to clean it.

This is what we need to do whatever waste comes into the mind, clean it straight away. Sit in mediation, si in silence. I suggest you start the day in silence, building on your energy to cope with activities/events of the day. Learn to take things as they come. Life is a challenge and so many things would present itself in the course of a day. Whatever the situations, I have no control over them. But I have control over myself. I can choose the way I want to react/respond to the situation. My strength is giving me the wisdom to take things as they come – to enjoy every moment. Then it is easy to forgive others as you’ll have mercy in your heart for them, knowing that what they’re doing is out of their control.


	Talk Summaries
Home What's On Raja Yoga Daily Raja Yoga Weekly Positive Thinking Meditation Experience Weekly Talks Talk Summaries Day Retreats Special Events What is Raja Yoga? Tour of Inner Space Brahma Kumaris Experiences Contact us Links	In this section you will find summaries of public talks previously held at Inner Space in 2007 No talks being held at the moment Friday 10 March - Living as Global Spiritual Citizens Speaker: Grace Lopez-Charles Mathematician and Meditation Teacher, Cambridge >> read more... Friday 17 March - Living with Confidence Speaker: John Semeraro Shop Retailer and Meditation Teacher, Peterborough >> read more... Friday 24 March - The Secrets of Self-esteem Speaker: Grace Lopez-Charles Mathematician and Meditation Teacher, Cambridge >> read more... Friday 31 March - Living in Peace and Harmony Speaker: Monica Porter Meditation Teacher, Norwich >> read more... Friday 21 April - Deepening Soul Consciousness Speaker: Jasmine Carter Meditation Teacher, Worthing Retreat Centre >> read more... Friday 28 April - Living Lightly Speaker: Maureen McCaldin Meditation Teacher, Cambridge >> read more... Friday 5 May - The Energy of the Mind Speaker: Dr Prashant Kakoday Director of the Centre for Integral Health, Cambridge >> read more... Friday 12 May- Overcoming Fear Speaker: Margaret Barron Meditation Teacher, London >> read more... Friday 19 May - Self Mastery Speaker:Geoff Marlow Management Consultant, Cambridge >> read more... Friday 26 May - Forgiveness and Letting Go Speaker: Shashi Mehra Meditation Teacher, London >> read more...

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	Friday 10 March - Living as Global Spiritual Citizens Only by healing the self can we heal our environment and the world. Speaker: Grace Lopez-Charles, mathematician and meditation teacher, Cambridge. Only by healing the self can we heal our environment and the world. There are some roles in life for which we have no preparation. There's no manual to guide you as you play the role. Being a citizen is one such role. From the moment you take birth, you are deemed a citizen of the society and culture into which you are born. So what does it mean to be a citizen? How much difference, if any, is there between a citizen and a global citizen? In this session the emphasis is on the added dimension of being a global spiritual citizen. For this we need a very important skill - that of being an observer. Being an observer enables me to take a new mental position. This is a silent skill which we need to learn. The skill of being an observer enables me to determine what positive changes are needed in a situation or with a person. When I am an observer, I am able to keep my mind clear and free and so open to new perspectives, because I learn to listen and tune in to the reality of others. Being an observer I am able to be creative. productive and effective, because I have given space for a true and better understanding. If I don't learn the skills of observing, I react and absorb myself in the negativity of the person and situation. I become lost in the maize of what's wrong and so I can never make things right. The more I absorb myself in the negativity, the more I become heavy with negative emotion and remain helpless. 'Negativity overload' does not allow me to rise and perceive the reality of things. so I lose perspective. And when I lose perspective, I become stuck in the details, and miss the obvious and cannot imagine or think of other realities. So how do I become an observer? I begin to acquire the skills of an observer when I become aware in a detached manner. In our philosophy, it is said, 'see but don't see, hear but don't hear'. What this means is that basically, I must remain aware of all realities, including the negative, but I must not remain stuck in them. I become stuck because I react. I react by judging, criticising and labelling. And why do we do this? Mainly because we feel threatened by what we are not familiar with, by what we do not approve of, so we create categories, convenient boxes for everything and everyone. Such convenience is dangerous because what we are actually doing is sealing the fate of others. We say: 'They're like this so we must treat them in this way'. Our vision and attitude is judgemental or critical of others, so we keep them as they are, because there is no input of positivity to encourage or allow them to make positive change. We hinder them by focusing on their past, their weaknesses and their mistakes. When we remain aware in a detached manner, we think not of what is wrong, but how we can put things right by contributing positive feelings or attittude or words. This is known as having mercy. There are no complaints because an aware person offers remedies and does not indulge in complaining. True maturity is to be fully aware. In full awareness, many things work itself out as long as my mind remains clear and free. How can I do this? Being aware in a detached manner, I know when to get involved and when to stand back. For any relationship to remain harmonious and successful we must know how far to become involved and when to stand back. In this way we give others the space to work and to respond according to their time and inclination. Too often we expect instant results and we become impatient and intolerant. We say 'I have tolerated so much but this one is not changing. I have shown so much patience'. We become attached to what we do and leave no space for things to happen naturally, in their own time. Sometimes we show the wrong type of mercy or we want to control, thinking we know better, so we get too involved in people's lives. This interference and lack of freedom for the other, provokes antagonism, resentment and conflict. Sometimes we stand back in a negative way, so tolerance and empathy are reduced and we isolate ourselves from others. We justify our withdrawal by saying: 'Let them stand on their own two feet'. But really we can't be bothered any more. We have stood so far back and failed to develop the patience and understanding which allow the positive to germinate, to grow in its own time. An important position is to become complementary. Harmony, well being and fulfilment of individual purpose is possible when our consciousness is inclusive rather than exclusive. In this consciousness we can recognise and appreciate the purpose and necessity of all things in life and give them the space in which to express their innate right to being. When we become exclusive, that is when the basis of our identity is on certain prerogatives and priviledge, then harmony is lost in both the individual and in society. In modern society, the idea of outdoing others has taken precedence over the innate principle of life, which is to complement. When we learn to complement rather than compete and outdo the other, there is peace and respect and especially self-respect. Everyone has a place within this beautiful tapestry of life. Being complementary means that each has equal value and when we recognise the value of each then we stop comparing, competing and feeling superior or inferior. A society needs all sorts to function - different talents, different positions. Being complementary is the basis of creating a peaceful and happy co-existence because the vision and attitude of equality respects and enhances the differences. Let us make the firm aim to live as global spiritual citizens with the attitude that everyone belongs to me and I belong to everyone. (top) Friday 17 March - Living with Confidence Developing the inner capacity to move through life with dignity. Speaker: John Semeraro, shop retailer and meditation teacher, Peterborough Through many of life experiences, there has been an undercurrent of confidence which has carried me along. My aim is to share from my own experiences. To begin I will emphasise four aspects as key to becoming confident. 1. Spinning – spin the discus of self-realisation. 2. Studying – gaining spiritual knowledge and putting that knowledge to use in a practical way. 3. Developing power – not power to control or overcome others but power to surrender. 4. Reflection – this is being able to reflect on a certain way of being. Within these four aspects, I found a way of living with confidence. When I began to spin the discus of self-realisation, I began to question myself … Who am I? What am I? Where do I come from? What is this life all about? I develop a sense of introspection, of going within. I spent my life, before coming into this knowledge, living on the outside. One moment I’m a father, the next I’m a husband, businessman, friend, son etc. I have forgotten who I truly am. Through self realisation, I am able to remind myself that I am a soul. Once I start considering myself to be a soul, suddenly things start falling into place. I see this body as a vehicle through which I travel the journey of life and as such I can leave the body and take another. The body is temporary, just like a temporary costume. As I focus on the temporary nature of the body, I begin to realise the eternity of the soul. I see the soul as a powerful energetic being. In comparison, the outer self is decaying, getting older, lacking in stability and temporary. If I try to hold on to this body, I become stuck. There is sorrow from attachment. When I see the soul, I see perfection. Perfection is eternity. Eternity is the idea of forever, which means neither a beginning nor an end. I realise that this can’t be a straight line, it must be cyclical - just as night follows day, summer follows spring. What are we doing here? I must first understand that I’m a soul – that within this body there’s a being that is perfect and virtuous. We came into this physical world to experience matter in a physical way. We begin to play a part in the drama of life and to observe the part as a spectator. Once that was the perfect stage, but gradually our consciousness became corrupted with desires, possessions etc. we begin to crave possession of the part of another and so enter into a spiral of ignorance and therefore forget who we are. By spinning the discus of self-realisation we are able to rediscover who we really are; to understand our purpose – to play a part. Am I my own creation? If I’m a soul then something/one more powerful than me must have created me. That One is my true Father and I am His child. When I come to terms with this truth, I can deal with any hurdle, whatever I have to overcome. I am able to play my part in the right way. Knowledge (wisdom) comes into the consciousness. Within knowledge, thoughts are being created, images are being created and the intellect starts opening and becoming very clear. In this awareness, I sit in meditation and remember that I came into existence long ago as a perfect being. Remembrance helps me to deal with this part I’m playing. For example in the theatre there are so many plots and sub-plots – there’s romance, a villain, a hero, some tragedy, some comical scenes. We sit and enjoy it all and we even become impressed by the scenes. But what if we suddenly become involved in the drama – like fall in love with the hero, rush to the stage to fight with the villain? Then we cease to be a spectator. Our consciousness becomes corrupted with desires, possessions, wanting to possess the part of another soul. And so we enter into a spiral of ignorance and forget who we really are. Through this ignorance we lose confidence in ourselves. Studying enables you to understand the drama of life and the eternal law of karma. This understanding enables one to live life with great power – that is power to eliminate the vices. It helps you to develop self-control and so become more peaceful and less stressful. We are able to rid ourselves of anger – that is I choose not to get angry. When we have a choice in the matter, we have the power to overcome and so surrender to a peaceful and more harmonious way of life. This enables me to live my life with confidence. Becoming powerful does not mean controlling others. Becoming powerful means choosing what is right for me in an accurate way. Through this power, we can begin our journey to perfection. It is at this point that a sense of reflection develops. We reflect on what it is like to be perfect – to be pure. Our habits change and we watch what we say and do. And through this discipline, we realise the need to become pure and perfect. The way we live, dress, interact reflects our power of self-control and the confidence we have in ourselves. (top) Friday 24 March - The Secrets of Self-esteem Self-esteem is like oxygen. It is a necessary element for living life fully. Speaker: Grace Lopez-Charles, mathematician and meditation teacher, Cambridge. What is self-esteem? We speak of someone being held in 'high esteem', but what do we mean by this? Esteem is a favourable appraisal of a person who possesses qualities estimated as of significant value. This may result in that person being awarded a reward or prize of some sort - maybe a Pulitzer, an Oscar, a Nobel Prize etc. Are there such awards or prizes for self-esteem? Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves at any given moment. It is the foundation of our self-confidence and self-worth. Self-esteem is a natural part of our existence. However, we've been taught from an early age to base and build our self-esteem on temporary foundations, such as position, possessions, on how much we earn and on how much regard we receive from others. In so doing, we learn to disguise our fragile self-esteem. We begin to move as though in a mime, a lifeless dance, dry and rhythm-less. What is necessary is for us to learn to tap into our inner strength. The door to inner strength leads to real seflf-esteem and is a door with a combination lock needing four keys. The first key is to acknowledge that you are unique. Being unique is one of the most important human characteristics. We are all unique human beings with unique histories, patterns of thinking and behaving. We have unique personalities so there is no duplication in humanity. However, we have acquired deep habits of comparison from early in our life. We are taught to compare ourselves with others, to imitate their style. Society has taught us, through the emphasis on appearance and fashion etc., to desire to look like and be like someone else. So we come to believe that if we can look like such and such a person, we'll be okay. This imitation always ends in painful failure and lowering of the sense of self. We can't be like, look like or act like any other person. We can only be ourselves. The habit of comparison and imitation is the greatest destroyer of self-esteem. Firstly, it prevents us from being ourselves and secondly, it keeps us at a very superficial level of existence. So the first key to the door of self-esteem is to break the habit of comparison and end the desire to be like someone else. Remind yourself that you are unique. It is through acknowledging our uniqueness that we gain the courage to acknowledge and accept our weaknesses, faults and imperfections. For it is only when we accept ourselves the way we are, that we're able to begin the process of true self-transformation. The second key is to apprreciate that you are already beautiful. We are all already beautiful and perfect, and we always have been. This is a paradox. Because this beauty is a hidden treasure lying deep within the self, we find difficulty in accessing it. Why? Because we have not been taught to go deep inside ourselves to see it, feel it and express it. This inner beauty is our innate qualities of spirit - it is the melody, the harmony that is missing that dry, lifeless dance of life. When we are able to experience our inner peace, when we are able to touch base with our truth, we begin to awaken love, joy, wisdom and our pure nature. However, we are so preoccupied with outer beauty to even begin to focus on inner beauty. We fall for the messages of the marketing gurus directing us to believe that beauty can be bought, surgically added or painted on. The re-building of self-esteem, that is true self-esteem, is a deep inner process of self knowledge and self awareness. We need to spend time each day to sit in stillness, in silence, and see and experience our inner qualities. The third key is to accept public opinion as just opinion. As the door to self-esteem begins to open, tests of your courage to fully open the door will also come. It is through these tests that stability in your self grows. When others criticise you or speak about you behind your back, if you become affected or your react in any way, it means that your self-esteem is very fragile. This stems from the temporary foundation on which our self-esteem is based and built. We base our self-esteem on the opinions of others. But what we forget is that each one would have a different opinion of us and we can never really know what others are thinking, because we're not in their minds. Even if we do know what others are thinking, aren't they entitled to their own opinion? Why should we allow their opinion to shake our self-esteem and so lose our inner stability? Don't worry about what anyone thinks of you. You know who you are. You know your true self - your natural nature. You don't depend on the opinion of others. Their opinion is just that - opinion - nothing more. The fourth key is to activate the power of respect. Self-esteem and self-respect are intimately linked. One is not possible without the other. When and where are we taught the skill of respecting ourselves? We're taught how to show respect to others, but rarely. if ever, are we taught how to respect ouselves. This is why our relationships lack harmony - why we are dancing mindlessly without rhythm and vigor. This is why we are filled with both inner and outer conflict . Lack of self-respect has brought about disharmony and negativity. If we can maintain self-respect, we would be able to remain stable and positive. There would then be no 'tit for tat', no misunderstanding and disharmony. The only way to build and also strengthen self-respect is to practice giving respect to others, regardless of what they are like or what they are doing. In this process of giving respect to others, what we are also doing is giving respect to the self. When we give respect to others, we are creating respect within ourselves for the self. This happens in this way because when we think of the person, we also create an image of them in our mind. And because for that moment they exist in our mind, we are giving respect to them, and have to create if first in our mind. In so doing we are experiencing respect in a real way and incidentally, respect for the self is also experienced. By using these four keys in the right way, we are creating a solid platform of self-esteem. It is on this solid platform that self-worth and self-confidence stand trumphantly. Self-worth and self-confidence are both awards, or prizes for gaining self-esteem (top) Friday 31 March - Living in Peace and Harmony Spiritual love melts your heart and creates unity and peace in your mind. Speaker: Monica Porter, Meditation Teacher from Norwich Peace and harmony! Do you think this is important? Is this something you think you would want to learn more about? Gandhi said 'Be the change you wish to see in the world'. At the moment, peace means the cessation of violence through war. Is this a good definition for peace? this type of peace leas to more strife - more war. In my mind, war doesn't lead to peace. There is so much suffering through war for it to bring about peace. Peace is something that I can find within myself. When I can create peace within myself or find that space within where there is peace, then I can begin to live in harmony with myself. Reflection: 'Take yourself back to a time when you were really peaceful. Get in touch with that feeling of peace once again. Relive that peace. Where is the peace coming from? Is it coming from inside or outside? What are you saying to yourself in this peaceful time? What are you seeing around you or within you? What are you feeling? Allow yourself to sink in that peaceful space and just be in silence. Enjoy it. When you are ready, bring your mind back to now' Where does that peace come from? From where do you find that peace? If you find your peace in nature, what does nature do for you? Does nature create the peace for you? No, nature is just the context in which you create peace. Because of the beauty of the setting, you are able to get in touch with your most vibrant self - the harmony. Does peace fome from within your or outside you? If peace comes from within, then I can access it easily. If peace comes from outside, then I have no control over my feelings. I cam completely beholden to what life thows at me. There will be tension, a striving to acheive peace. Then I have 'to do peace'. So I seek a special place to sit, a candle. scented oils or incense. When I do peace, I have limited time to experience peace. When my peace comes from within, then I can access it at any time. What part of you is peaceful? Where did you access peace inside yourself? Where did you feel it? When I access peace, I feel like a river of peace is flowing from head to heart. If I am able to access a higher souce of peace, I can create a constant flow of peace. What would my relationships be like if can access that peace all the time? I am responsible for my own peace. I can create it myself. It is within me and it is within my power to create it. If I can create it myself, then I can lose it when I choose. We say 'you make me angry' . . . 'if only the government would do such and such' . . . 'if I can only live in the city/country' . . . If I create my peace, then there is noone making me do anything nor is there anyone to blame. It is a lovely concept to say 'I ama river of peace, an ocean of peace. But, why is it so difficult to maintain peace? If I am to access my inner psace them I would need a few methods to help me to access it. Reflection: Think of a time when you were angry. What happened to you when you were angry? Be the onlooker of the situation (don't go into the feelings) and notice how the situation started. What was the trigger that got you angry? Did your heart race? What caused you to react? What made you hold back the insulting words? Notice the body language - were you tense, were you standing or sitting? What were you saying to yourself about the situation? You might have recognised that some thoughts and feelings were regular patterns. How quickly does anger happen? It happens in a second, like a lit match. When you get really angry, it can take days to reccover - you can feel depleted of energy, almost like a 'wet rag'. This is damaging for your itnernal organs. Also, you can't think clearly. It is like a fog which is pulsating. Oxygen does not flow naturally to the brain so thinking is not at its best.It would be nice not to have this fog and to remain calm enough so that you are able to say the right thing. Story: Once, a man planted a very lovely green lawn. He fed, watered and gave it nutrients and so the lawn grew greener and greener. Then spring came and so did the daises. The man was furious to see his nice green lawn dotted with white daises. So he mowed the lawn real short to get rid of the daises. A month later the dandelions came up. He again mowed the dandelions away. But throughout the season there were alternation of daises and dandelions. The man soon become fed up and in a fit of anger, he concreted the whole area. Now there were no more daises or dandelions, but there was also no nice green lawn. What should he have done? (Dug them out from the roots.) Activity: Draw a flower and write in its middle a trigger statement that you always use (e.g. This always happen to me.) Ask yourself a question: why does this happen? And wait for the answer. Don’t rush yourself. Write the answer as it comes to you, as the root of the flower. Repeat the question, each time waiting for the answer to come and write it in the root, extending the root systematically. When you ask the question and you keep getting the same answer, this means that there are no further reasons. You can go no deeper. This is a systematic way for removing the root cause of anger/negativity. What do you want to do about your root? Is it a limiting belief you have of yourself? Where do we get this belief from? Some belief started in childhood. We absorb so many negative things about our selves and we believe them to be true. Yet when I go within myself I can tap into peace, love, harmony, caring, enthusiasm etc. So surely, I’m not that bad a person as I think I am. What are the things that limit us? By the time we get to 18, we acquire habits that we find so ingrained that we can’t change. Because we think that these are within us and so find difficulty in stopping them. We create our own reality. There is a part of the brain that will filter out what I don’t wish to see and what I wish to see because of my belief system. If we can place ourselves on the outside and observe what is happening, we would see that what we are not doing is separating behaviour from who we are. I am not my behaviour. What creates my belief? Gender, religion, society, what I learn from others, media, all contribute to my belief. We absorb so much information through our eyes, far more than the brain can handle. So I have to filter them out through my belief system. We absorb what others tell us and build up our belief system of who we are. What has influenced you most? Family, outsiders, school systems, nationality, heroes – such as pop stars, film stars etc. Handout: The Cycle of Identity Innate or Acquired What does Identity change? Perception What does Perception change? Thought What does Thought change? Action What does Action change? Response What does Response change? Belief What does Belief change? Identity (top) Friday 21 April - Deepening Soul Consciousness Speaker: Jasmine Carter Meditation Teacher, Worthing Retreat Centre There are three levels of consciousness: - body consciousness; soul consciousness and action consciousness. Body and action consciousness are more dominant in our daily lives. The body is so big and the soul is infinitesimally small. We use expressions about the soul daily. For example we say someone is very spirited; we say someone is the life and soul of the party; we even say poor soul. Can you see a theme emerging from these phrases? The soul is energy, vitality – very much alive. I, the soul, give life to this body. What I learnt through soul consciousness is that I am actually distinct from the body. The world is very much dependant on information and technology – information that stays on an intellectual level. For the soul it is different. It is a matter of having very few thoughts and making those thoughts very profound. When I get into soul consciousness, I ask myself “Who am I?” The naturalness of the soul is covered by many layers. By asking “Who am I?” I am able to go deeper through the layers acquired through body consciousness. I have to get to the truth that lies within me. The truth is that we are all innately good. This might be hard to believe, especially when we are hard on ourselves and on others. For this reason, it is best to have fewer thoughts so you can go deeper and deeper into who you really are. You would find, with practice, that you are positive, peaceful, content, loving, wise and pure. Sometimes it can be so difficult to believe this. In the Guiness book of records, there is a record of someone who managed to stay continually angry for the longest time. This person managed to remain in a constant state of anger for 48 hours. This just shows that anger is not a true quality. We have four different types of thoughts. The one we encourage and is natural to soul consciousness is positive thought. By positivity, it is not meant to take the stance that black is white or to look at events through tinted glasses. What it means is that I am living in solutions – solutions such as (1) there is a solution for everything and (2) I know I can do it. With positivity everything becomes as easy as turning a light switch. By simply saying I can is creativity. Creativity comes out when I am able to remain still. Stillness is such a resource and I need to know how to use it. I draw the analogy of the sea as I often view the scenes of the sea front from my window. There is so much going on the surface of the water – water skis splashing, swimmers, lots of people on the sand – some happy others relaxing etc. At the end of the day, they all go home. We too are very busy on the surface. Busy with desires, different moods, changing of opinions and ideas, on the whole very fast moving. When you go deep down into the sea, there is stillness and the deeper you go the stiller it becomes. As you get to the bottom, you find the treasures that have remained buried there. It is the same with soul consciousness. When I go deep within, I discover my inner qualities and begin to live out of these true qualities. I meditate to reconnect myself with myself. As I go deep within myself, I normally take peace ass my first treasure. I look at it (peace), I polish it and bit by bit, I bring it higher and higher in my consciousness. The more I practise this, the more I am able to use this treasure in my life. How I am inside is connected to how I am with the world. If I disconnect from myself, I disconnect from the world. If I cannot have a relationship with myself, then I cannot have a relationship with anyone else. My first act of love for myself is to accept who I am. Consistency is the key. I remind myself, through daily meditation, of who I am. To meditate doesn’t mean just sitting in a quiet corner for three hours. It is far more practical than that. Just a few minutes here and there – like a minute to refocus the thoughts in the mind – is necessary. In this way everything you do throughout the day gives enjoyment. The second type of thoughts is necessary thoughts. These are routines, like cleaning your teeth, getting out of bed etc. Because I am positive, I become more organise and so makes it easier to be efficient. The third type is wasteful thoughts – that is thoughts such as “If only…”, “I shouldn’t have…”, “If s/he didn’t…” All the things of the past are in the past. It didn’t happen like that, but I’m wishing it had. These are blocks to meditation. Wasteful thoughts are sapping my energy. To overcome these blocks, I need to understand my thoughts and choose my thoughts carefully. The fourth is negative thoughts. These can be as simple as thoughts of self such as “I can’t”, “s/he is better than I am”, also blaming, worrying and making comparison. Blame is very disempowering. We create the worry that we feel – we bring it on ourselves. When I am negative I want. There is always an emptiness that is causing my negativity. If I have plenty of something I am very willing to share. If I only have one, it is more difficult to share. What I need to realise is that everything I need is contained within me and all of these are 100%. Then I allow things to be the way they are very naturally without wanting them to conform to my expectations. Things don’t have to be the way I think it should be. We can be very blinkered – only seeing life through the experiences and memories we have. Insecurity makes us want to see things in a certain way – the way we want them to be. I have become so attached to material things through my complete focus on the body and bodily relations. Neither materialism, nor body consciousness brings me permanent happiness. I might feel happy because I went out and bought a new pair of jeans but later on I’m not so happy any more because the newness and excitement of having a new pair of jeans have worn out. I fluctuate in feelings. I have to do more and more to gain higher feelings and so when I come down, I go further down into low level feelings. This high and low fluctuation empties me of my state of constant fullness and rocks my personal sense of security. You’ll be relieved to know that you are much more than what you own. There is nothing wrong in having possessions and nice things. It is our relationship with the possessions and nice things that create the problems. I need only to accept and enjoy the things that I have, but not base my happiness in them. In soul consciousness, I’m able to fill up with my inner treasures and the more I am filled, the more I am able to give. When I decide to give good wishes to someone, I begin to create those pure feelings inside me. By giving good wishes to that person I am reprogramming myself. I have to remember I am here to give good feelings and so this comes back to me through the law of action (karma). To have good wishes and pure feelings for others is a very dynamic way of improving yourself. When we are positive, we are economical with our thoughts, but when we are negative, we get into expansion. (top) Friday 28^th April 2006 Speaker: Maureen McCaldin. Meditation Teacher, Cambridge What are the kinds of feelings that you’ll like to experience in any one day? Humour, ecstasy, calmness, love etc. … What is the experience that follow from, let’s say, humour? It leads to happiness; it makes you feel lighter. The end result of all our quests is happiness. This is our own innate quality and so no one can snatch it away. What experiences do we avoid? Anger, conflict, worry, anxiety, boredom, hunger etc. … These may become part of our daily experiences but they are not what we set out to experience. That is we do not get up in the morning and say to ourselves “today I want to experience anger (worry, anxiety etc.)”. Just as when we experience humour we feel light, the opposite happens with anger. When we experience anger, we become heavy. All this is because of influences. Take the tiny baby, for instance; what influences him? Parents, siblings and home environment are the main influences. Although he’s quite small and new, he can still experience the atmosphere. As he grows up there are wider influences, such as other children and other adults. Then there is the influence of the school culture. And as he grows even older the horizon of influence expands to include advertisements – the media (i.e. music, TV, tabloid); entertainment – computer games, internet; and peer group. These influences externalise the focus of the individual and become very important diversions from what we are naturally. One other quality we possess is wisdom – wisdom to know what is true or not true for the self. We tend to find other people’s opinions to be more important than the self. We seek external symbols to identify us. The car we drive symbolises how successful we are. We experience a drop in mood level, when the car is damaged, because the source of my happiness has been ruined. Putting the opinions of others over our own sense of self tends to override our own belief system. For example a three old who likes to dance will throw herself into the dance with consciousness of how well she is doing it. If she is well balanced and really has a gift for dancing, she’ll get praises and even be asked to demonstrate to others. In time the praise begins to create the self image “I’m a good dancer. My teacher tells me so.” She now begins to compare herself with others and when praise is not forthcoming, she becomes self conscious. Praise should be given in such a way that it encourages one to into self evaluation. If I may, I would like to draw my examples from sporting instances. Sport is like a miniature replica of life. It’s all there in the sporting arena. All the players are there and everyone is trying to achieve his personal best. Personal best is a good thing to hang on to as we are not letting others opinions grab us. It would e very much happier if we relied on our inner wisdom. One can’t do more than their best. Then where you are placed doesn’t matter. There’ll always be those better or worse than you. Some become overachievers and raise their own expectations of what they can do and others expectations of them as well. In so doing they create stress in themselves and so become ill. Stress is the precursor to illness. If we can find our comfortable middle, then we can do our best. Sportsmanship is something we can use in everyday life. All sportsmen follow these principles: Honour – they are following the rules and not cheating. In life we need to follow the rules of the society if we are to be a good citizen. Respect – they have respect for all competitors, which leads to a great game being played, a great spectacle. If we respect others, then in return others will respect us. Humility – they have a gift and have the good fortune to develop it. The gift is nothing something I achieve it’s something I was born with. Whatever name or fame I may receive, I know this talent is a gift with which I was born. If both sides are equal and play the game with sportsmanship, then the end is success for each side. When ego prompts to take revenge, then sportsmanship is lost. Although the team manager may use the word ‘work’, nevertheless, we still play football, play tennis play golf. Playing is the key to the game just like in life. If you can do your best, that’s enough. Besides sportsmanship, what other principles are there to help us to live lightly? Acceptance is one such principle. Acceptance means to realise that we are both the source and creator of our own actions and experiences. There are three great acceptances: Self acceptance – this means coming to terms with honesty and truthfulness (that is not making excuses for the self). You have to perform your personal best in acceptance and in that way you defeat the ego and become empowered. Acceptance of others – we have to accept each one the way s/he is. In a drama it is important not to interfere with the part of other characters. We don’t have to rewrite their parts. We just have to play our part and realise that others are playing their parts as well. Acceptance of the drama of life – we have to accept life for the way it is. The drama is going to throw things at you – such as anxiety, problems to be solved etc. When you do solve the problem, you fell well because it is no longer a problem. It’s like in the game of cricket, the bowler is sending all sorts of balls at you, but it’s up to you to bat the ball, defend your wickets or just let it roll by unaffected by it. In a spiritual context, our focus must move towards the motivation behind our actions. It is only then that we become more giving rather than taking. In physical consciousness, we are in constant need to take from others, environment etc. We can change this around by developing our own sense of self. Being in a giving mode will create happiness. If we put a spiritual context around our lives, then we can become very happy. We need to make effort in order to gain something and so the gain becomes satisfactory, bringing happiness and true pleasure. (top) Friday 5 May 2006: 'Energy of Thought' Speaker: Dr Prashant Kakoday Thought is one of our primary functions. Descartes’ single principle is “I think, therefore I am”. Behind this is the certainty that I exist. In life there are thoughts, but what is the medium in which thoughts come? We constantly move from one thought to another. Sometimes I try to trace my thoughts to its origin and for such a short time I notice there are so many thoughts. These thoughts are completely random. 80/90% of them are cyclical thoughts. We have a wonderful thing call “mind”. Mind is more than thoughts. You create a thought and that thought is experienced. In life it is thoughts that create lots of our reality. To quote a true story of two patients – one suffering from gall stones and the other not. During a routine check up their extrays were mixed up and the results went to the wrong patient. The one with the gall stones problem was told that he was free from that problem. The other was told that he was suffering from gall stones. Two months later the one who actually had gall stones, in a subsequent check the gall stones had disappeared. But the other who was really free from gall stones had developed one. This is as a result of what is known as placebo. The placebo effect is the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health not attributable to treatment. This effect is believed by many people to be due to the placebo itself in some mysterious way. 30% of people have some big results from placebos. Some believe the placebo effect is psychological, due to a belief in the treatment or to a subjective feeling of improvement. It may be that much of the placebo effect is more a matter of mind over behaviour. The placebo effect may be a measurement of changed behaviour affected by a belief. The changed behaviour includes a change in attitude, in what we say about how we feel, and how we act. The emphasis is that it is more than thoughts. A person can create in himself the feeling that I deserve this illness or I deserve this situation. Some therapists then tells him that he doesn’t have an illness. He hears it but it is unable to transcend into his deeper belief. There are so many societal influences telling us that by a certain age we would experience some specific illness. And so we become conditioned by this thinking. In some cultures it is believed that as you get older you become fitter. This belief works for those in that society. At a practical level, in India, older people are seen as wiser. As a result there a fewer cases, among the elderly, of dementia or Altzeimer's disease. We are in a society and so we have to fit in with the conditions of that society. As a society, we have a “herd mentality”. There is benefit in the herd such as security. When we are on our own we tend to develop confidence about ourselves. Being in the herd, we follow the trends for clothes, job, profession etc. We all check for agreement. In every herd there is a leader. In fact, you have a choice – you can choose to either follow the herd or be the leader. If you realize that the herd is going in the wrong direction, take the opportunity not to convince them they’re going in the wrong direction, but start moving in the direction you think is right. The herd creates the pattern. We need leaders to change directions. There will be opposition at first, but later praise will be given. Your leadership should not be just for the sake of being a leader, but purely to change the herd. The biggest problem in achieving this is attachment and so the answer is to become free from attachment. You have to grow out of it internally. Something of this kind has to happen within us and when it happens, it is a great boost to the human race. Attachment starts in many simple ways. In relationships, we become dependant on others. We become addicted to many things, even the internet. To change, we need to come out of it entirely – to step out and experience freedom. The simple method to achieve this is to take a jump. The entire spiritual knowledge tells us that there is a reality of God. What is great about God is that He is eternal. It is not a spiritual luxury to have meditation, it is the need of a society to come back to this God. This is not on a superficial level, but it is on a higher plain. The higher you are on that plain, the more you become a guest in this physical world. Because people tend to approach the world with emptiness and lots of problems are caused as a result. They try to fill themselves with external things, but these do not give them happiness. If you experience spiritual fullness, happiness cannot be removed or withdrawn by anyone. Relying on your job, for example, for happiness create so much sorrow when the job is lost. When you are a guest, there is no worry of losing anything. In the Gita, it is mentioned that such yogis win heaven and win earth. What this means is that you get to a great height, having angelic experiences, while on earth you do not have any worry of anything, including your own body. This sets the tone for a long and healthy life. It’s a bit like - if you eat too much sugar, after a while you could develop diabetes. There are more useful things one can do rather than worry. By running after your shadow, it runs away from you. But when you follow your own direction, the shadow follows you. Nothing is intense, you are entirely free and so there is harmony. When one gets into great intensity, they do not know what to do about it and so become trapped. The only way out of this is to turn to God. Not just God, but the world of God. We have to wake up to that plain; make our thoughts stay in that reality. If someone can think of God in that way, he’s fortunate. If he makes further effort to know God and experience God, that would help him to realize the most positive thoughts. This means that the most positive thing anyone can do is to think of God. On a practical level; let us experiment – touch your hand and imagine God is using this hand. Just hold that thought for 10 seconds. In this 10 seconds, you have brought in a different energy and this energy has an effect on the body. The more we get into indulgence, then that energy is of disturbance. If you are staying in the thoughts of God and looking at someone as though God and you are looking (that is God is using your eyes), not only would you benefit, but the other would as well. You are on safe ground if you allow God to use your organs. When eating, you say God is feeding me. If you play with this a few times you’ll see a difference. Things will get better and all you did was create a positive thought. And as the thought becomes deeper it becomes greater. Then it won’t be just a thought of God, but you begin to experience who God is. (top) Friday 12 May - Overcoming Fear Speaker Margaret Barron Coming into spirituality has been a great step forward in the journey of overcoming fear. I had incredible fear of public speaking and although the fear is not totally gone, I’m a lot closer to being fearless. Overcoming fear is an interesting process and how spirituality works on the process is also interesting. Spirituality gave me a chance to break through the fear barrier. I remembered the first time I had to give a talk, half of me wanted to do it and the other half was so nervous. At that time I remembered God – not so much remembered but more like spoke to God. And what resulted was like magic. What I said didn’t matter, what mattered was breaking through that fear. There is the saying that most people would rather be in the casket than do the eulogy. Public speaking created such fears in me and once I managed to overcome it, I set myself new target – maybe sing on stage. Stage fright is such that you don’t really feel frightened, you just can’t remember anything. There’s some fear in all of us. We all have different fears, different things that we have to deal with. What I learned from the Brahma Kumaris is the way spiritual awareness takes us to the boundary to overcome all types of fears. The theme for this month's talks is the Power of the Mind. Being able to direct your mind the way you want it to go, enables you to only think the thoughts you want to think; only feel the things you want to feel. You have to live your life with freedom so that nothing is pulling you down. If you imagine a line drawn above the physical world where everything below that line is physical and temporary, above that line is complete freedom and eternity. The journey of overcoming fear is learning all the different ways to live above the line. When we are above the line, we see ourselves not as a body but as a spiritual being within the costume of a body. We all wear different costumes, but behind each costume is a spiritual being – represented as a star, a point of light. When I am in this awareness, I have access to the core of my being. At the core I’m amazing. In our true essence, the qualities are really beautiful. There are Peace, Love and Happiness. The only true way to experience this is to go inside and nurture that which is already there. We are kept so busy below the line and what is below the line? Below the line are people, possessions and positions. In the journey of overcoming fear, be aware of people – being fearful of anger towards people and people being angry with me. This can be not in an overt way but in a rather subtle way. Life is asking us to live above the line. Every situation that we’re in is a chance for spiritual progress. Everything that happens in my life is for my spiritual progress. There are times when I feel uncomfortable shifting out of my comfort zone and that is when I react. Donald Schon’s innovative thinking around notions such as ‘comfort zone’, ‘double-loop learning’ and ‘reflection-in-action’ is of value. He presented different mindsets, Governing variables are those dimensions of trying to keep within acceptable limits- how we perceive the world, what we think is right and what we think is wrong. Governing action are the moves and plans used by people to keep their governing values within the acceptable range; when I start to change things just to keep my comfort zone. Consequences are what happen as a result of an action. These can be both iintended and unintended. When I start to challenge and question my governing variables I step into double-loop learning. People would come into your life who challenges you to make you uncomfortable – trigger your buttons. In terms of possessions, it’s not wrong to have possessions but what is wrong is having an attachment to them. When I’m attached to the things I have, I develop fear of losing them. We live in a world where there isn’t complete trust. The more attached we are the more we feel a sense of loss and so we live in a sense of fear. When I’m above the line in the awareness of a spiritual being, I already have everything, so the things below the line are just extras. Let me use those things for my benefit and for the benefit of others. Whatever we need would come to us, when we become full in the experience of living above the line and only acting a role below the line. In terms of position, whatever is my consciousness there is a whole way of life that goes with that. Spirituality is saying to us, play your role as the best but don’t get trapped in it. When I’m behind the role I can play the role to my best because I know I’m not that role. How do I know the qualities of peace, love and happiness are there? In meditation you can begin to experience these inner qualities. The qualities are always there. Within our psyche, there’s a part of us that are really silent. We are so caught up in what is happening around us that we don’t experience that silence. In meditation we are taken into that space of inner silence. There are two ways to live life – with love or with fear. In spirituality, if I want to experience a certain thing then I have to create the thoughts to allow it to happen. As amazing a challenge this is, the more I nurture it the more it will become my way of being. Within every challenge is the gift for spiritual progress. There’s benefit in everything. We have to face many things in life, but when we think of the spiritual progress the benefit is always there. We might not see it at the time, but it is there all the same. In life we can become quite stuck – become heavy. In order to help pull us out, we need special help – a lift. Imagine if I’m wanting to become peaceful, happy, loving, if I want 100% peace I need to attach my psyche – internal process – to something that is stable in peace. This stable being is not of the physical dimension and so is constantly stable. This being is the divine being – God. Just I see myself as a spiritual being I can connect with the divine. As I make that connection it mirrors back my own inner qualities. So when we live above the line fear doesn’t exist. When I’m connected to the divine and feel these qualities in me, there would be no fear. Situations will come but they would not leave an impact on my psyche. This is where I want to be – to live in love – to be above the line. (top) Friday 19 May - Self Mastery Speaker: Geoff Marlow Most of our education today focuses on a narrow segment of the brain, located in the left portion. Left-brain dominant people are most successful in our current educational system, which limits creativity, and relies mostly upon words and numbers. To be able to achieve anything is a big thing. I have been so caught up in the left-brain system that is only when I came into spiritual understanding did I realise how much my sense of self was grounded in being clever. There is the understanding that “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are”. The subtle awareness of who I am is the thing that influences the eyes through which I see the world. This happens unconsciously, through education, through people who influenced us and/or through the stuff we learn as we grow throughout the ages. By the time we get to 18, we’ve accumulated a sense of what the world is like and how we perceive the world will be. This is reinforced over the years and so we begin to experience a sense of stress. After the birth of my son, I suffered a stress crisis, which led me from the psychiatrist couch to this yoga philosophy and meditation. In dealing with the issues of stress, one most realise that most of us have multiple demands and multiple roles to play. But deep inside, behind the roles, there is only the one ‘me’. Feelings of stress and being pulled apart by stress come from me forgetting who I really am. Playing the roles of consultant and dad, I had a painful decision to make. It was coming up to my son’s first birthday and Alison, my wife, and I had planned a birthday celebration for him. However, some clients had decided on the date for a forthcoming meeting on the exact date of my son’s birthday. The dilemma is what decision will be the right one to make. So I’m throwing it out to you. Could you think of a creative solution to solve this problem? It is easy to come up with a great many ideas for the solution. When you’re actually in the stress position you can’t, especially when you’re analysing and using logic as the basis of argument. So, how did I solve the problem? I asked Alison and her immediate response was “go to the meeting. Alexander is too young to notice you won’t be there anyway”. The simplicity and practicality of her response brought up in me inner murmuring – ‘how could she make this decision so easily and I, the one with the high IQ couldn’t’. The thing is, if I’m in the stressed out situation it is impossible to make any informed or real decisions. One has to realise that the roles are really putting on and taking off masks. I can put on and take off the masks of the various roles I play. Self mastery is about getting back to the true self It means getting away from our clever ability to analyse and so a lot more decisions are made not entirely intuitively but in a less stressful way. We are even able to rationalise why a certain decision was made and give the self the opportunity to change unreasonable decisions. You cannot be confident in making decisions when you do not have all the data. You have to become attuned to what you’re hearing inside. Lord Falkland’s rule states that “when it is not necessary to make a decision, it is not necessary to make a decision”. We spend so much time deciding about stuff that does not necessarily need deciding. We also spend too much time thinking about what will happen and how will it happen. When I tune in to my inner voice, what emerge are faith, trust and hope – three things that are not normally attributed to a left-brain thinker. We tend not to value these a lot because we are so caught up in our left-brain stuff of over analysing. We try to deal with everything in our life with a hammer, because everything looks like a nail. Our pride in the rational analytical thinking faculties do not allow us to have faith, trust and hope. How does it work in practice? While interacting with others in the roles they play we are using our resources in the awareness that behind all these stuff (relationship, roles, responsibilities and resources) is a resilient being able to learn and grow. When the rough and difficult part is over, there is the learning of something very valuable. We are able to see that nothing is wholly bad. Relationships and roles are responsibilities of the soul. The challenge in everyday life is how to be more soul conscious than role conscious. If I am a doctor, in the consciousness of this role I see everyone as a patient. The pig analogy is a good one to use in this case. The vet sees the pigs as patients, the farmer who has bred them sees just his daily bread, the butcher sees flesh - all the meat products the pig provides him, while the Leather craftsmen see skins to shape into bags and boots and shoes. If I’m in the consciousness of the role then I see the world from that perspective. So when someone criticises the role, I take it personally. I have to cultivate the ability to see the world from the perspective of soul consciousness. Mastery in the game of life involves going into situations where normally we’ll be pulled into role consciousness and still stay in soul consciousness. The more I’m able to stay in a place where I’m soul conscious, the more I’m able to give others the chance to feel comfortable in themselves. They know you’re not pointing out the stuff what is going on in them. They experience that although they are not performing at their best, you are still showing them love. How do you deal with difficult people who continually try to influence your stage of soul consciousness? On this topic, I once spoke to a senior teacher in Oxford, who said to me “see it as a game”. You score points when you can remain soul consciousness and you lose points when you are pulled into role consciousness. That means the other person scores a point. When you realise that you are playing this game to stay in soul consciousness, your vision changes and you begin to see what is good about this person. If I can deal with all the junk of life, then I can be masterful. Mastery is not just dealing with self but is also dealing with others. The practical teaching is to go into the awareness that it’s a game of staying in soul consciousness and remembering that I’m only playing a role and so are the others around me. (top) Friday 26 May - Forgiveness and Letting Go Speaker: Shashi Mehra, Meditation Teacher, London Which is easy – to forgive others or to forgive the self? In life many things happen, but sometimes we hold on to these things so deeply, that it becomes difficult to let them go. The beauty of the philosophy of Raja Yoga lies in the fact that it makes one become so easy – one is able to move forward in life. If we are unable to move forward and are continually holding on to the past, then it is too difficult to forget and to forgive. When people pray what do they ask for? They ask for forgiveness. In Jerusalem, there is the Wailing Wall where people go to pray. God is really the Ocean of forgiveness. We feel that once we did something towards atonement for a wrong, then we feel the lightness – the mercy of God. God, the Father has a merciful and generous heart and is so able to forgive and forget. If I hold onto something and I burden myself with that – who is suffering? Does anyone want to suffer? We want to forget, I want to forgive, I want to have good relationships. But if I want these things, why am I holding on to things in my mind so rigidly? What we need to break this habit is a little power to control ourselves. We need guidance. Without guidance, we struggle. We may want to practise something but we tell ourselves ‘I can’t do it’. I have to put my concentration on wanting to do it. In the same way I must concentrate on wanting to learn self forgiveness. The first thing I must do is observe my feelings when someone doesn’t forgive me. Then I must say from the heart ‘I want to forgive myself’. There is benefit in forgiving and forgetting. If I can not forgive and forget, I create such suffering that brings about animosity. Animosity comes when I cannot forget and so I hold on to my arrogance. When someone is in this stage of suffering, words do not work. What works is good wishes, having pure thoughts for and about that one and good feelings. Although someone may refuse to forget, I must carry on giving very subtle spiritual love. In my heart I must have such good feelings for that person. This is the quality of humility. It is when we come across negativity that goodwill – our inner goodness- dies within ourselves. We all want to be good people and we want to make the world the best where we can share goodness and not hold on to animosity. So check yourself. Sit in silence and ask your heart ‘I’m I holding on to any grudges inside?’ Certain things happen in the drama of life. But whatever happens is for the best. Yet we find it so difficult to forget it – to get it out of our system of thoughts. It is easy to say ‘forget it’ but difficult to put this into practice. If I can forgive myself and give good wishes then the feelings in my heart is not to hurt anyone. Sometimes we act very carelessly, not realising that I’m hurting someone. By sitting in silence I’m gaining power to do the right thing at the right time. In that way I’m making less mistakes. This is no ordinary silence. In this silence I am linking my mind and intellect to God. It is God who’s guiding me to be accurate. We have to be very sweet. Sometimes we become bitter and angry. We say words in bitterness which really hurt others. When I’m very sweet, I’m very loving and natural. We have to make ourselves good. We are all good most of the time. We all say ‘it’s not my fault but someone else did or say something and I reacted. But is it right to behave that way? We’re all are different. We must accept others as they are. Our way of thinking, behaving, personality is different. It is natural for someone to raise their voice if someone shouts at them. We have so much anger. Just as when two stones are rubbed together they create sparks, its the same with two angry people. Peace is my true religion. Internally I have very pure qualities. In meditation I am able to emerge those qualities and bring them to the surface. The fragrance of my goodness then spreads around. I begin to rectify the things which later on become a big thing. I am able to let go of the things of the past rather than hold on to it. When something happens, ask yourself, ‘is it worth holding on to it?’ Through this sort of questioning feelings are neutralised. Your own positive feelings enable you to forget whatever it was that needed forgetting. You can’t change it, so the best thing to do is to finish it very lightly, straight away from the mind. It takes a second to switch on the wipers in the car. If something comes onto the screen of my mind and I hold onto it, I can’t concentrate. Instead in a second wipe it clear from your mind. Three systems occur when we encounter waste – take for instance the banana – immediately you peel the banana you look for a bin to put the peel. You don’t think how lovely the skin is, let me keep it. The other thing is that our body rejects waste naturally. And thirdly things that happened in the past need to be throw out to create space for what is happening now. If you hold onto waste, every time you open the mind to put fresh things in, it stinks. You have the wisdom to clean up the mind. If you don’t clean it you cannot enjoy your present and so what would your future be. You would not serve freshly cooked, tasty food on a dirty plate with traces of last night stale dinner still clinging to it. You have to scrub it straight away because if it is left it would take hard work to clean it. This is what we need to do whatever waste comes into the mind, clean it straight away. Sit in mediation, si in silence. I suggest you start the day in silence, building on your energy to cope with activities/events of the day. Learn to take things as they come. Life is a challenge and so many things would present itself in the course of a day. Whatever the situations, I have no control over them. But I have control over myself. I can choose the way I want to react/respond to the situation. My strength is giving me the wisdom to take things as they come – to enjoy every moment. Then it is easy to forgive others as you’ll have mercy in your heart for them, knowing that what they’re doing is out of their control. (top)